The Sirens' spell is broken

I have been published! Nothing major. A silly poem, written on a normal day in Turkey, 5 years ago. I posted it once, long ago. Women of the Harvest online magazine published it this month and wouldn't you know, it was God's timing.

As I perused other articles, I was nourished in that place in my soul that has been neglected and lonely here in Seattle. Two and a half years since leaving Turkey and I've been seduced. Lulled into middle income America and the rights that come with it. Lured into a small story and fed stale crumbs and been tempted to believe this was the new me.

I took my son to see Percy Jackson, Lightening Thief, last weekend and was thrilled by the Greek mythology primer. There is a time when Percy and fellow quest-seekers lose 5 days in a casino full of modern day Sirens, dulling their senses and keeping them captive.

Have my senses been dulled?

We have worked our bums off to get two Masters degrees debt free. New converts to Dave Ramsey, we even decided to cancel our credit cards. If we were committed to not using them, why have them? We had become quite proud of this feat and confident in our future ability to buy a house. Deserving. Awaiting our reward. Until we learned that no credit means bad credit in this economy. We didn't play by the rules and forfeited the game. And our anger was fueled by...

Clinging to rights that weren't ours to claim.

Lulled into believing that this was the goal.

Today, the words from women in ministry, living overseas, experiencing the daily dilemma of a hard life in God's will, woke me. First, I felt awash with the sense of belonging. I am a displaced missionary still. A third culture person. But more importantly, I had lost sight of the bigger story, and my place in it.

One of the authors quoted a Dave Crowder song, "If grace is an ocean, we're all sinking." I thank God for his grace drowning me today, overtaking me in my self-directed course to this glorious mirage I thought looked so real out on the horizon!